Dieing to be Loved

Where laying closer than usual. But Im not gonna let it seem like it bothers me. Ima be the man i am in my texts. Her eyes is fixed on the tv. But she keeps pushing against me without looking back. so I just take it. I like the way it feels. I run my hands on the side of her thigh. She catches chills. And i grip her closer.
She looks back and says my name. So before she could say anything to fuck the mood up…. Ima just kiss her. Even before my lips touch hers she starts kissin me back. I knew she wanted this. Her eyes are closed, and i have all of her thickness in my hands. Her body wrapped in my arms. Once i pull down her pants, i decided finally this is what i want. While im kissin on her neck i can see from the corner of my eye my phone vibrating on the floor. I hope she ignores it like im trying to. I have her on her back. And my drawers are down. How could she not feel me? I enter her slow. Pulling back everytime i go in further. Shes holding me tight. I push her hands off. There wasnt much room for me to fuck her. I layed her on her back, her sides. I even put her on her face and knees. What more could she want from me? She says somethin in the pillow. I thrust harder into her. Making it harder for her to speak. Shes sweating. Im sweating…I go harder and faster until iwas done. She was been done. I move from behind her and lay down. She attempts to hold me but i smoothly refuse. My phone is still going off. She sees a picture pop up. She pulled on her pants and rolled over with disgust. I didnt care. Never did. Next thing i know im asleep….

NEXT DAY…

I Woke up with her on my mind. My baby. I had read my texts and she was cussin me out. But i texted back and said im on my way over now. Of course i washed up. And got rid of this crazy ass smell..That smell this girl carries.

“You cant keep doing me like this. Its not fair…do you hear me? What about how i feel? When are you going to tell her?” To be quite honest, i had no idea what she was talking about. There was No us. Life aint fair. So why should i care about her feelings. She picked up the baby. “Are you coming back tonight?”
that girl asked. I kissed the baby and not her.
“Yep” i practically rushed out. I didnt want to see her right now.

When i reached my sweetheart door. She opened it real fast. With our 2 week old child in her arm.
“Let me see em.” I said.
i took him eagerly. Little hands and feet so damn small. I love em.
“Why you stopped texting me lastnight and you didnt pick up at all…” She had the demanding tone.
“I fell asleep my bad.”
“Mmmmhhmm” she replied.
“Just give me a kiss.” She kissed me with love. Just as well as i did. But when she pulled away she had unsurness in her eyes……Im sorry bae.

I dont know what to want out of life anymore.

Its been awhile since you called me baby.. Or said i loved you before i did. Just say it right now. Please. And i wont bother you for the rest of the night. I miss you. I cooked tonight and i pulled up a couple of shows you like. A few movies. I picked out a few snacks…that happend to be your favorite. I love you. Are you still coming over? I texted you and you didnt text back. Is she really keeping you away like this. I thought I was worth the trip. These are the times i want to cuddle…when your away. :-(

I can tell, Jesus is preparing to come here. i can feel it. Ill be waiting. :-)